Love Again.

Being with him was like finding life again.

When she saw those pair of eyes look back at her filled with affection, admiration, and a love so deep she could not imagine loving herself as much as those eyes loved her. Not once did she think a time would come when the choice to walk away would come from him. They were each other’s all- from best friends, to lovers, to reunited souls.

Their kind of love was the kind you read about in fairytales - romantic and passionate. The sad part is, when one gets attached to someone, they cannot imagine that person not being a part of their world anymore.

She cast away her safety net and decided to take the complete plunge. If she fell, well, she would face the consequences later.

And fall she did.

The opposite of that mind consuming love is the mind consuming pain that follows. The pain of knowing that you will never see, touch, or hug that person ever again; hear their laughter, or bicker with them. All those dreams you built around your relationship were but a fairytale that came crashing down.

When you are in it, the thought of losing that person is unimaginable, and one gets so caught up in the moment that we forget to guard our hearts. The only person you can rely on in the end is YOU. Promises are meant to be broken and people can walk away. Nothing is set in stone, not even a sacred concept like marriage. Then you think - it is worth risking all that pain and opening yourself to new love again?

The answer is yes. They say love isn’t worth the pain. Those who said that were either not in love, or they had their safety net on. Because if you’re lucky, and you find that person to share all of that with you again - someone who will love and respect you for you, not try and change you, and is there to stay, the feelings of bliss, contentment, and happiness can last forever. Not to mention that mind-consuming love that makes you all dizzy! It’s all uphill from there.

They say ‘Save the best for Last.’ It’s out there for everyone. After a roller coaster ride of romance and giving it your ‘all’ these past few years, you just have to wait till it hits you again. For keeps this time.

Rubber band rebound- Facts & Signs

Most of us, or should I say 90%  of us have been in rebound relationships, knowingly or unknowingly. Personally I view it as a sad & cowardly way to move on, as opposed to deal with what's actually going on. Here are a few signs for those rebounders who thought it was 'true love!' (Courtesy: Google)

"A rebound relationship is one that occurs shortly after the break-up of a significant love relationship. If you are in a relationship but have distanced yourself emotionally from your relationship partner, you may begin a rebound relationship before you even leave the relationship you are in.

A rebound relationship is a distraction. It is a connection to another person that keeps us from having to experience the full extent of the emotional pain of our recent break – up. It is a misguided attempt to move on with our lives. Many people will jump back into the dating scene because of the fear of being alone. It’s a quick fix, one in which we can drown out our pain by reveling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new found love. It can be a a lot more fun than dealing with the misery of a recently broken heart.

We may have a sense of urgency and a desire to make sure we get it right the next time around. Those are great motivators to have, but make sure that sense of urgency is not causing you to rush in the wrong direction. Most of these rebound relationships are not permanent, and they can be even more destructive than the earlier breakup."

So do yourself and any potential new relationship partners a favour and deal with the pain of your old relationship before moving onto another one. One may miss the comfort and affection of a regular relationship. But whatever the reason is, it is a selfish reason.

Agreed, breakups are painful and hard. But in the end, the fun and memorable times spent with your partner are definitely worth the pain. Rather than putting a temporary band-aid on it, may as well wait for the real deal, right?

Where to go from here?

I almost feel lost. Like the self-confidence I had emanating out from me is covered by stacks of negativity. With any steps I take in the future, I am answerable to everyone- where will I go, what will I do?

With the end of my last tenuous relationship, I felt I had a new lease on life. I was confident I would find someone compatible enough to settle down with, never having to look back. Now I feel tied to yet another failed relationship where nothing else seems to be missing but the fact that we live 60,000 miles away & that he is one of most commit-phobic man I know. Just my luck to find someone like that.

So now where does this leave me? I want to quit my job but scared of what lies ahead, if there is anything at all. I'm the target of those judging gazes and remarks of "Oh, do you have a contingency plan? What do you plan to do right after?" Why can't it be as simple as quitting work and concentrating on my hopes and dreams for once? I just seem to be flowing with the tide, but it's not MY tide. 

Do I have the confidence to finally set out to pursue my dreams that I have been longing to do since I was 18?! It has taken me 10 years of progressing and growing to finally get here. What should I do? My instincts are screaming to give in my 2 weeks notice and leave prior to starting a new project. 

And then there's this man, or should I say 'boy' who is my ego element that I so try and ignore otherwise. Contrary to what he says, I know he doesn't support the dreams I do. Unlike my parents, he doesn't seem willing to give it a fair chance, to believe in me no matter what. So then what exactly am I waiting for?

And if so a decision is taken to end this, I will be alone again, and the fear of not finding that suitable person will mount my entire being. Then I reprimand myself for even allowing this to even go on for 2 years. How could I sit by and watch this happen? A girl only dreams of finding that great, simple guy who understands and respects her, who she can with eyes closed thinking of spending eternity with, not worrying or feeling stifled. If the basic elements fit, that is what counts.

It doesn't seem to fit here. No judgments, but he comes from a ruthless corporate world which takes over one's entire being, where money eventually becomes the key element over relationships. He is the one who pushes my defenses and I can't have that.

So I will let the tide flow and take its due course, eventually in hope that it will flow towards me at some point. You’ve got to give Fate the reigns and hope She manages to steer better than you.