She was an independent, strong woman. She had her wits about her and had everything going for her… until she broke up with her beau. Women are labelled as crazy and needy, but the question is - have they always been this way? There are of course exceptions to the rule. But if you ask any of these women, they will tell you that they had the rug pulled out from under them.
What does that mean exactly? I’ll paint you a pretty picture. The boy is floored by you. He thinks you are the most beautiful and amazing woman he’s ever met, and he can’t stop telling you that. He can’t believe his luck. He wines you and dines you, sends you flowers, seems utterly devoted… until one day he pulls the plug. Or the rug as I say. All the sweet nothings he whispered in your ear, the excessive messaging and wanting, planning your lives together, all comes to a stop. Sometimes there is a reason and sometimes there isn’t. He feels he doesn’t need to explain himself. You wonder and ask, because we women love to share our feelings. We operate from a place of emotion. Men don’t. It’s as easy as a switch for them - On/Off. I do envy that about a man sometimes.
So what happens? The woman has already let her guard down and opened herself up to him, thinking he’s her knight in shining armour and her possible forever. But the pedestal he had put her up on has crumbled from underneath her. She asks “But what was all that for? All the words and promises you made?” Suddenly it’s all for nothing. Sound familiar?
My dear - there is a reason why people say ‘Actions speak louder than words’. Men are as true to their word as politicians are to this country. When they feel it, they feel it. But when they don’t, they just don’t. Yes it is a big bad world out there when it comes to dating and relationships. Which is why we can’t get used to that cosy rug. We just have to be ready to face the cold hard floor when that rug is pulled from under us.
One would argue and say - ‘But all men are not like that.’ Well, true. But that is because they have transitioned onto the 2nd phase - The phase where they look to you as their ‘forever’ and also cannot do without you. Men need mothering, whether they admit to it or not. Be it their helper, maid, or cook. They love being taken care of. And when you become that person for them, a different sense of love grows. They have something warm, comfortable, and familiar to come home to. Not to say that the couch doesn't do the trick for some! But you get my drift.
They key is not to give too much too soon. If they hold their cards close to their chest, so should you. The old saying ‘Men love the chase’ comes into play here. It really is a game unfortunately, whether we women like to admit it or not. The nice girls always do finish last. Make him work for it. Make him realise that if he was the last man on earth and he had many women to choose from, he would choose you every time. You don’t need him, but he needs you. Most women of today are financially independent, so a man is more of a want than a need now.
You may ask ‘Why does the woman have to put up with so much more? Why do we have to be the ones to compromise?’ You don’t. But be sure of what you want from a man and don’t be needy about it. Don’t give away your power to soon, or I would say at all. Let him fight for you and respect you, so when he does finally get you, you are his most prized possession. I can go on and on, but I’m coming to my main point - Self-preservation.
Women are emotional creatures. We tend to give ourselves away too soon- ‘Here, I’m an open book. Take it all!” Not to say men haven’t had their hearts broken too. But when you use self-preservation in your relationships, rug or no rug, it doesn’t matter. You’re prepared for what’s next, be it good or bad. You’re used to the good stuff (we all love the wooing!) but you don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, or in some cases, on the tips of your fingers! Remind yourself that YOU chose to be with him. Stay in the moment, enjoy the attention with little expectations, and leave the rest to fate, God, or whatever higher power you believe in.
So the next time a man decides to woo you, make him dance around you and pander to your needs. Let him build a rug under you that is so thick, that he won’t be able to pull it out from under you this time. And if he does, you always have a gorgeous pair of heels to fall back on!
