The Dilemma of 30

The number itself makes people cringe. ‘Oh, halfway to sixty’ or ‘Over the hill.’ I had come close to a depressive moment, but only to realize soon enough- I am who I am BECAUSE of 30. The last 30 years have enriched my life with experiences and valuable lessons, all to mould me into a person I would like to be. 5 years ago I didn’t know what I wanted from life, or who I really was. Today, I am ready to take on any challenges that might come my way, all because 30 has prepared me and made me who I am.

Of course, one isn’t always prepared for the worst and people go through the toughest of circumstances. But my point is- 30 is a whole new level of maturity, and if you add fun to it, it’s the best way to live. People are well into their careers, have more spending power and if single, can start living their life to the fullest now. All the studying and schooling is in the past, and one reaps the benefits of it all now.

I wouldn’t be 'me' today had I not gone through the rigmarole of broken relationships, rebellion with the parents, switching jobs, and numerous other experiences over the last 30 years. It's like they all formed a pyramid and base under me, and been the building blocks to making me into this person today. No regrets. I only look forward and welcome the future and what it has to offer me. Whenever the going gets tough, the strength learned from facing different obstacles in the past will pick us up each time and bring us back to our equilibrium.

You might ask, why the number 30? Why not say, 28? I have been told that something clicks inside you when the clock turns 12, and ‘something’ changes when you leave the 20’s behind. I can only guess what that something is. Aside from feeling old (which I never will!) there is a renewed sense of responsibility and wisdom that comes about. Left behind are university days of abusing ones body with alcohol and drugs, and a realization creeps in that one can’t look as gorgeous and young forever. The levels of consciousness rise, and the priorities and the choices we make change.

5 years ago if anyone were to ask me where I would be 5 years from now, I would’ve said married, have my own private practice, and possibly living abroad. I guess none of us are visionaries. The hopes and dreams I had envisaged remained to be hopes and dreams. We as humans set higher standards for ourselves, and as a result we end up feeling disappointed with ourselves.

The present moment is about looking around and appreciating what and who is around you, living a comfortable and stress-free life, because with years to come, only more stress will be added on! To enjoy living with your parents if not married, and appreciating your friends, your freedom and the youth you still have. 30 is just the tip of the iceberg, with so much more to come.

So as the countdown begins, I am more than happy to be turning 30 because I know I have so much more to share with the world. They can learn from my experiences, and I in turn can learn from my past mistakes to know that I won’t make the same in the future.

Welcome to the 30’s! 

             After all, 30’s are the new 20’s!

Book of Rules

A simple thing like finding a partner comes with a book of rules. Everyone is looking to meet that ‘right’ person. But there seems to be a set of rules to follow, imparted on us by society and our parents. It’s all the conditioning, which results in internal conflict within an individual- a tug between our inner wants and what society demands of us.

For parents, the obvious worry is their son or daughter’s long-term happiness. They know kids of today don’t have room for compromise anymore. The rule book then becomes more voluminous. Money? Looks? Family background? Joint family? Education? Career? These are just the main dealbreakers that almost every person looks at before jumping into a long-term commitment. Then come the sub-breakers, which differ from person to person. Does he have a temper? Has he been divorced? History with women? Big nose, ugly hands. Any excuse to delay that impending decision of getting hitched with a stranger.

We are discussing arranged marriages here because in today’s society it has become a norm and not so frowned upon anymore. Parents want good families and their daughter’s choice of boy doesn’t seem to sit well with them.

Thus. with this book of rules romance is thrown out of the window. All the wooing, light flirting and ‘romancing’ is preceded by whether the boy will fit in well with the girl and her family, and then they can fall in love. And especially if the fit is good, well then they just have to.

But then one can look at it this way- if there wasn’t a book of rules, would there be more failed marriages? Possibly yes. The threshold of patience amongst young couples today is very minimal. A pre-planned match would probably see itself through a longer stretch of time, by matching all the elements for each individual. I am not talking about Astrology. That is a concept that has not penetrated my belief filter yet. If two kids with a similar upbringing, parental background and group of friends got married, chances are that union would last, simply because the two would understand each other better. Fewer reasons to compromise.

So that precious book of rules, as much as it is cursed by me and thousands of other people, plays an important role in marriage today. We difficult, rigid individuals need to play by this book of rules, or we’ll end up lost in the middle of a desert not knowing how and why we got there in the first place!

"Till death do us part? Or till however long I can stand you?”